Do you use euphemisms or you speak plainly? Which style is better?
The Use of Euphemisms
A euphemism is a polite word or phrase that we use to convey something unpleasant, sad or considered socially rude or a taboo. It is the art of communicating something in a less abrasive tone or in an indirect manner. It aims to make the situation more acceptable than it really is. As such, euphemisms help to neutralise words that can come off as harsh, insensitive or improper.
Euphemisms often refer to taboo subjects such as death, finance, sex, bodily functions, shame and stigma. They also refer to anything that carries an unpleasant or embarassing connotation.
For instance, when referring to the death of a loved one, you would rather use a euphemism and say that that person has passed on. Similarly, it is more polite to say that someone is between jobs than to say that the person is unemployed.
In a similar vein, with reference to bodily functions, it is more socially acceptable to refer to “menstruation” as the “time of the month” than to say it bluntly. Furthermore, people consider it quite rude to refer to someone as “fat”. Wouldn’t you rather use a euphemism and say that the person is big-boned?
The Downside of Using Euphemisms
Whereas euphemisms appear to promote social finesse, others have criticised their use. People have criticised the use of euphemisms as engaging in vague and misleading language. These people hold the view that using euphemisms compromises the quality of communication.
They believe that by using sugar-coated words to make something seem more pleasant than it really is, you are compromising the authenticity of what you are saying. As such, you are being dishonest. Some even go as far as saying that by using euphemisms, you are insulting the intelligence of others.
Speaking Plainly
Is speaking plainly the alternative to using euphemisms? There are those who advocate speaking directly and bluntly and avoiding the use of euphemisms. In other words, they prefer to call a spade a spade or to tell it like it is. They believe that being forthright and straightforward is the way to go.
However, we should note that there is such a thing as being brutally honest. As such, speaking so plainly and directly all the time may not be the solution.
Finding the Middle Ground
So how do we find the middle ground? When should we use euphemisms or speak plainly?
When informing an employee that you have terminated their appointment, it may be more sensitive to use a euphemism and say that they have been “let go” rather than say that they have been “fired”.
On the other hand, when giving nutritional advice to a person, it may be better to directly inform that person that they are overweight and need to go on a diet. Saying that is more honest and helpful to the person than using a euphemism by informing the person that it appears that they are very well-fed.
Knowing when to use euphemisms and when to speak plainly is an exercise which requires wisdom, tact and diplomacy.
The Right Word at the Right Time
We must seek to use “le mot juste” which means a word or phrase that is exactly right in a particular situation. This phrase was coined by the French novelist, Gustave Flaubert, who used this guiding principle in his literary works.
The Bible also refers to speaking the right word at the right time. The Book of Proverbs in chapter 11 and verse 25 states that , “The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl”.
A similar view is expressed in Proverbs chapter 15 and verse 23 as follows: “What a joy it is to find just the right word for the right occasion!”
In seeking to use the right word at the right time, we should ask ourselves how we would feel if whatever we are about to say was said to us in that particular situation. We should also analyse the situation and determine what is the best thing to say under the circumstances.
May we endeavour to use the right word at the right time!
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