Meaning of Sadness
We may describe sadness as an emotional pain associated with feelings of disadvantage, loss, despair, grief, helplessness, disappointment and sorrow.
Society’s Quest to Avoid Sadness
As a result of its seemingly negative attributes, society seeks to avoid sadness. Society rather espouses happiness. In “Feeling Bad About Being Sad: The Role of Social Expectancies in Amplifying Negative Mood” by Brock Bastian et al, the authors note that popular culture and television in particular, stress the importance of happiness. They note that meanwhile, commonplace emotional experiences such as sadness, depression or anxiety are pathologized and medicalized. We view these as deviant from the desired norm. As such, everyone wants to be happy and we almost always sweep sadness under the carpet.
Benefits of Sadness
But could sadness be beneficial to our lives? We see the benefits of sadness in its improvement of our judgment, it being a source of motivation and it building empathy.
- Improvement of Judgment
Sadness improves our judgment. According to Joseph Forgas and Steve Hickman in “Five Ways Sadness is Good for You”, people are more likely to make social misjudgments due to biases when they are happy. Christian Jarrett expresses a similar view in “10 Studies that Show the Advantages of Feeling Down”. He notes that you are less gullible when you are feeling down.
Rachel Avrick in “The Surprising Benefits of Sadness”, notes that negative emotions often work to increase focus and critical thinking. Graham Greene in his novel, “A Burnt-Out Case”, supports this view when he states that we become aware of ourselves, the more uncomfortable we are.
Similarly, Ecclesiastes chapter 7 verse 3 of the Good News Bible states that, “Sorrow is better than laughter, it may sadden your face, but it sharpens your understanding.”
- A Source of Motivation
Sadness is also a source of motivation. According to Joseph Forgas and Steve Hickman in the article mentioned above, whereas happiness triggers safety and a familiar situation, a bad mood operates like a mild alarm signal. It thus triggers more effort and motivation to deal with a challenge. They note that those in a negative mood will be more motivated to exert effort to change their unpleasant state. Rachel Avrick, in the above-mentioned article, also notes that sadness leads us to make proactive changes in our lives.
The Nigerian educationist, social critic and visionary, Tai Solarin, expresses a similar view of sadness being a motivating factor for achievement in his new year message in 1964 titled “May Your Road be Rough.” He states that all that is noble and laudable is to be achieved only through difficulties and trials and tears and dangers and that there are no other roads.
The French orientalist, Ernest Renan, states that “Let us remember that sorrow alone is the creator of great things.” Sadness therefore may motivate us to change our circumstances for the better and to achieve and create great things.
- Building of Empathy
Sadness also builds empathy. Christian Jarrett, in the above-mentioned article, states that mild depression may come with enhanced empathy. Sean Grover expresses a similar view in “The Joy of Sadness”. He states that we should learn to honour sadness. According to him, the goal of psychotherapy is not to eliminate uncomfortable feelings but to expand our capacity to feel. He notes that the more we embrace and welcome all our feelings equally, the more attuned we are to others and the world around us.
Joseph Forgas and Steve Hickman, in the above-mentioned article, state that sadness can make you nicer. They note that people in sad moods are more concerned with fairness and pay greater attention to the needs of others. Dinsa Sachan in “The Very Real Benefits of Occasional Sadness”, refers to Brock Bastian, author of “The Other Side of Happiness: Embracing a More Fearless Approach to Living”. She states that Bastian points out that it is during adversity that we connect most closely with people.
These show the benefits of sadness to our lives.
Futility of Avoiding Sadness
Much as society may try to avoid sadness, it is futile to attempt to do so. This is because sadness we require sadness for a balanced life. Sadness is an intrinsic part of life.
- A Balanced Life
We cannot have a balanced life without sadness. According to the Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, “The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” Rachel Avrick expresses a similar view in the above-mentioned article that, true happiness cannot be gained without an understanding of sadness.
The Good News Bible in Ecclesiastes chapter 3 verse 4, states that God sets the time for sorrow and the time for joy. He also sets the time for mourning and the time for dancing. Both sadness and happiness are necessary for a balanced life.
- An Intrinsic Part of Life
Sadness is an intrinsic part of life. Tai Solarin, in his above-mentioned New Year Message, states that life, if it is going to be abundant, must have plenty of hills and vales. He notes that it must also have plenty of sunshine and rough weather. Christian Jarrett, in the above-mentioned article, expresses a similar view that, bad moods are part of a meaningful life.
The British philosopher, Alain de Botton, states that “The good life is not one immune to sadness but one in which suffering contributes to our development”.
Graham Greene, in his above-mentioned novel, also expresses that discomfort is a part of life. In a parody of Descartes’ “I think, therefore I am”, he refers to a cabin passenger who writes in his diary, “I feel discomfort, therefore I am alive.”
Embracing Sadness
In view of the benefits of sadness to our lives and the futility of avoiding sadness, are we not better off embracing sadness rather than pushing it away? This is not to espouse deliberately seeking out sadness. This rather concerns doing away with the perception of sadness as a canker to be avoided at all costs.
Dinsa Sachan, in the above-mentioned article, refers to Brock Bastian in “The Other Side of Happiness: Embracing a More Fearless Approach to Living”. She notes that Bastian states that the point is not that we should try to be sadder in life. She notes that according to Bastian, the point is that when we try and avoid sadness, see it as a problem and strive for endless happiness, we are in fact, not very happy. As such, we therefore, cannot enjoy the benefits of true happiness.
To conclude, we will live meaningful and abundant lives when we embrace sadness and its benefits, rather than avoid it.
Shall we salute sadness with fireworks?
Kindly check out a memoir by Maggie Smith entitled “You Could Make This Place Beautiful“, as shown below. It shows how we can be strong and create something new in the wake of our loss. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
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