Social etiquette refers to the various social patterns of behaviour that we practise among our family, friends, colleagues or even strangers. To practise proper social etiquette, we have to follow certain social norms. This will ensure that we live peacefully with others and coexist in harmony.
Most of us have the basic social etiquette rules such as saying, “please”, thank you”, “excuse me” and “sorry” drummed into our heads from childhood. However, could there be some other social niceties that we occasionally overlook? It doesn’t hurt to take a quick refresher course in social etiquette rules every now and then.
Here is a list of ten social etiquette rules compiled from different lists put together by various writers on various platforms.
1. Ensure that you praise people publicly and criticise them privately. You don’t want to make them defensive or to dent their ego in public. Criticism, when given in private, is an easier pill to swallow.
2. If you tease someone and you realise that that person is uncomfortable and getting irritated, stop it. It can easily escalate into a quarrel. As such, there will be bad blood between the two of you.
3. When someone shows you a picture on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You may see a picture/video/text that you were not meant to see and you will both end up very embarassed.
4. Don’t call somebody more than twice in a row, unless they owe you money or you have an appointment with them. When they see your missed call, they can always call you back when it is convenient for them. People regard being called continuously as a form of harassment.
5. Don’t look at your phone when someone is talking to you. People consider this to be rude and disrespectful.
6. When in an office or in a social gathering, take phone calls by stepping aside or going outside if possible. This is in order not to disturb other people. It is also to ensure your privacy and to prevent others from hearing the details of your conversation.
7. Don’t interrupt people when they are talking. When you interrupt them, you create the impression that whatever they are saying is not important. Rather, try to listen to them well for effective communication.
8. When talking to people, look them in the eye as people consider this as polite. However, don’t fix them with a piercing stare as people consider that as aggressive and intimidating.
10. When you borrow money from someone, return the money even before the person demands it. The person may really need the money, but may be too shy to ask you for it. As such, when you don’t return the money on time to the person, you cause that person a great inconvenience.
Have you breached any of these social etiquette rules? How did you handle the aftermath of the breach? Kindly share your experience to enable us better appreciate these rules.
I had the unpleasant experience of a friend telling me to mind my own business when I tactfully hinted to her that it seemed that she had put on weight. In reality, she had put on so much weight that she walked with difficulty. When she complained to me of knee pain, I suggested that weight loss could be a long-term solution. She angrily told me that her weight was her problem and that she had not asked me for money to go to the hospital.
It would be great to add on to this list of rules. Kindly indicate any other rules that come to mind. You may post your comment by clicking on the chat icon beneath the heading.
Cheers to being courteous and to practising good social etiquette!
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9 is a no brainer for me however yesterday I had to tell a male friend he has put on weight. He admitted to same and we laughed it off. I think men handle this comment better.
Nice piece Heidi.
Hahaha 😄
Yes, I think men generally handle this better.
Well written. Reminds of the book”Courtesy for boys and girls”.
Yes, I really enjoyed reading that book as a child. 😊
Useful rules to live by in a postmodern era of technology. I totally agree with the etiquettes that pertain to facemasks
Yes, very useful rules 🙂
……as usual very beautiful reminders shared there. May i add my 2 pesewas. lol
The young always defer to the elderly as the elderly are hallowed and considered containers of our collective consciousness
A minor does not jump into a conversation involving elders, until she is invited to join
3 When eating in a group, you take your time to have your turn as there is enough to go round
Under no circumstance must you raise your voice against your parents or any other person who could be your parent.
……thanks for bringing this up
Thanks for the very pertinent additions! 😄
Learnt a lesson from point 4
It’s an educative and insightful piece
Thanks a lot
You’re most welcome 😄
I have always known social etiquette, but with certain people I just do not care.- I am just being honest.
And, we are all different and see things in different ways. Some people will purposely say things to try to hurt you or to get under your skin but if one is secure within themself if will not bother them.
The intent may irritate them because they know the person’s motive but what they say will have no affect. I am just speaking from my experience where people have said things that I was not fazed by. Yet, I know I am not the only person in the world who is this way.
This is truly a great post though. Kindness and consideration can go a long way and prevent unnecessary conflict.❤
Thanks for your insightful comments 👍
Yes, we are different and see things differently. And I think your approach of being secure enough not to be bothered by the slightest step on our toes really helps.
Nevertheless, as you noted, kindness and consideration really help avoid unnecessary conflict.
Yes! It is best to endeavor to keep peace even toward people we may not like.
That’s so true! 👍
It is indeed! 👌
Many thanks for sharing these rules, in these times of technology and the use of phones this has become very important. I really think a lot of people need to pay attention to 3, 4 and 5. My brother is fond of breaching 5. I went visit him one day and he kept looking on his phone. I just told him I needed to go somewhere and I left.
As for 10, the least said about it the better. It happened to me. I decided to give a friend less than what he asked for so that it wouldn’t become a problem when he doesn’t pay back in time. After a very long time of ignoring me, we meet at a family engagement and he is complaining that I’m not being my usual self with him. Can you imagine?
Yes, these rules are very important in this technological age. With reference to no. 10, I think it’s always better to only part with an amount that, if unpaid, will not be a problem. Else, the friendship becomes complicated.
Social etiquette needs to be taught in schools, churches, mosques, etc. Unfortunately, we ignore these social etiquette rules every day without realising its effects.
Thanks for educating me. Keep writing.
Yes, social etiquette rules should be taught everywhere. There is always room for improvement. You’re most welcome. 😄
So many great points here, thanks for sharing!
You’re most welcome, Tiffany! 😊
I need to work on 6 and 7 and I particularly hate 9. Thanks for sharing Heidi.
Hahaha Shadia. 😄 We all have a lot of work to do. You’re most welcome 🙏
Interesting. I have learnt more.
I’m glad to hear that 😊
Awesome. Nos. 3 and 10 are instructive
Yes, they are! Thanks 😊
Very educative. Its so uncomfortable when another person comments on your weight. Some can be so crass. We should all be sensitive to the feelings of others.
Looking forward to reading the next piece
Yes, comments about weight are very uncomfortable 😬. May we all seek to be more sensitive to the feelings of others!
This is a very educative piece. I enjoyed reading it greatly. Awesome!!!
I’m really glad to hear that. 🙏
Thank you, Madam, for reminding me of what’s expected of me in my daily life. I picked these up over time.
Respect those who are beside you and protect those who are behind you.
When you are the guest, never say ill of the cooking.
Don’t claim ownership or credit of what you did not do.
If you are not invited, don’t ask to go.
Show restraint in expressing anger, no matter what. Being angry is a waste of energy.
I love manners and decency. They serve as my life’s guiding principles. I feel ashamed when I don’t do it right. I’m interested in finding out more. Awesome work.
Thanks for adding on to the rules. Not going where we haven’t been invited to is very important. Someone said, ” Go 🚶♀️ where you will be appreciated ❤️ not where you will be tolerated.”
The part about swiping left or right on someone else’s phone made me giggle, thinking about when my hubby showed my dad a photo and then dad grabbed the phone and swiped LOL Hubby’s face!
Hahaha 😄
4 and 9 I definitely agree with
Yes. That’s in order 😄
I love the 9th one!!! Thanks alot!!!
You’re most welcome 😄
The 9th one makes a lot of sense. Nice one
Thanks so much 🙏