Persuasion and manipulation are both forms of influence. Chris Hadnagy defines influence in “Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking” as the process of getting someone else to want to do, react, think or believe the way you want them to.
Rodger Dean Duncan in “Influence versus Manipulation: Understand the Difference” quotes Bob Burg as stating that influence is negative when one manipulates others simply for one’s own selfish purposes. On the other hand, it is positive when one persuades others in order that both or all parties obtain the results they want.
Definition of Persuasion
The difference.guru in “Difference between Persuasion and Manipulation”, defines persuasion as the action undertaken by people looking to change the opinion of others. People usually do this with a good intent and have the interest of others in mind.
Definition of Manipulation
The difference.guru defines manipulation in the same article as implying bending the truth in order to get someone to do something opposite to their initial intention. It is an action intended to get the other person to do something beneficial to only one of the parties involved. The beneficiary party is usually the one carrying out the manipulation.
How to distinguish between persuasion and manipulation
How do we distinguish between persuasion and manipulation? James Sudakow in “Are you Influencing People or Manipulating Them?” lists three important questions that we can ask ourselves to determine this. They are: “What is your intent? How authentic are you being? Will the long-term relationship be damaged by your tactics?”
Jonathan Fields in “The Line between Persuasion and Manipulation” also raises similar issues. He states that the difference between persuasion and manipulation lies in the intent behind your desire to persuade that person. It also lies in the truthfulness and transparency of the process and the net benefit or impact on that person.
The Hoffeld Group in “The Difference between Persuasion and Manipulation” also explains how to distinguish between the two. The Group refers to the elements of intention, withholding the truth and coercion.
Is there a clear-cut distinction between persuasion and manipulation?
Although various writers have referred to the elements of intent, authenticity, outcome and coercion as ways of distinguishing between persuasion and manipulaton, is there a clear-cut distinction between the two?
Intent
With reference to the intent behind the desire to influence another person, when a person presents an idea that has good intentions and is in the best interest of another person, then that is persuasion. On the other hand, where a person does not present an idea with good intentions and the idea is not in the best interest of the other person, then that is manipulation.
However, do we really know what is in someone else’s best interests? If the course of action that we are influencing the other person to take is in the other person’s best interest but will also benefit us in the process, then are our good intentions totally selfless? Are these good intentions not clouded by ulterior motives? And if ulterior motives are involved, are we engaging in persuasion or manipulation?
On the other hand, is that to say that in order to have totally selfless good intentions, the course of action that we are influencing the other person to take must be contrary to our own interests or not benefit us at all? Is that what qualifies the action as persuasive and not manipulative?
Authenticity
Another means by which we can distinguish between persuasion and manipulation is with reference to the authenticity of one’s action in seeking to influence another person. In other words, that is, whether one is being truthful and transparent and is not withholding information required by the other person in order to make a decision. We perceive persuasion as authentic. On the other hand, we perceive manipulation as distorting the truth or involving deception.
But is deception always an element of manipulation? Is it possible to influence someone to take a particular course of action which is aimed at satisfying your needs and not that of the other person? Can we do this without necessarily deceiving that person? Does the absence of deception render the act as not manipulation but perception? Does that hold even though only your needs are satisfied? You may succeed in getting another person to do what you want which is beneficial to only you by being charming and obsequious. Have you been persuasive or manipulative?
Outcome
We may distinguish between persuasion and manipulation by looking at the outcome of a course of action. We may also look at the impact of a course of action taken by a person on that person. Whereas persuasion has a positive impact on a person, manipulation results in harm to a person.
But is the outcome alone a true indicator of persuasion or manipulation? If you influence another person by means of deception which will however result in a positive outcome, have you persuaded or manipulated that person?
Let us take the example of a person convincing a woman in a physically abusive relationship to leave her partner in order to save her life. You may tell the woman that her partner told you that he planned to kill her soon. He may have rather told you that he planned to beat her up to teach her a lesson. By lying to her and convincing her to leave, you may have prevented her from harm. Her act of leaving the relationship results in a positive outcome and has a positive impact on her. On the other hand, you achieved the goal of getting her to leave by means of deception. Have you been persuasive or manipulative?
Coercion
Coercion is the practice of forcing another party to act in an involuntary manner by use of threats or force. The element of coercion is a means of distinguishing between persuasion and manipulation. Manipulation involves the coercion of another person to take a particular course of action. On the other hand, persuasion does not involve coercion.
However, when you use coercion, does that mean that manipulation has taken place even when the outcome is positive and you have good intentions? You may influence another person to desist from an addictive behaviour such as substance abuse by use of coercion. You may have emotionally blackmailed the person or have threatened to incite the disapproval of that person by that person’s peer group. If that person discontinues the addictive behaviour, this is a positive outcome. This shows that you had good intentions. However, you used coercion. Have you been persuasive or manipulative?
To conclude, we note that there is no clear-cut distinction between persuasion and manipulation. There appears to be a fine line between persuasion and manipulation. We can determine this fine line between persuasion and manipulation by examining our intent, the authenticity and outcome of our actions as well as the coercive element involved.
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Very powerful parameters – Three way test
1. What is your intent?
2. How authentic are you being?
3. Will the long-term relationship be damaged by your tactics?”
For me, the intention is most critical. Where it’s not genuine, the outcome is immaterial to me.
I elect outcome as a stronger variable in differentiating between persuasion and manipulation. I reckon that what matters is the impact a course of action has on the party whom the action is directed towards and not the initiator of the course of action.
That’s true counsel.
A very persuasive article with no intent to manipulate. Indeed, this article reveals the thin line between persuasion and manipulation which brings home the essence of wisdom. Thank you, Madam.
This is another classic presentation, Learned Senior. Though persuasion and manipulation appear to be worlds apart with the former being preferable, we tend to be manipulative most of the time albeit unconsciously. Thanks for the education, most grateful for arousing our consciousness.
Most welcome counsel.
Most welcome counsel.
Very interesting. I gathered that the difference between manipulation and persuation is defined by intent. Great piece and thought provoking especially in campaign times 😜
Thank you.
Our current world is full of manipulated individuals; right from the church body to the little traditional shrine. Many of their activities are to their best interest only. Even what they consider to be the best interest of the persuadee has their interest also. Selfishness all over, just few persons have others at heart and intents are positive. God induce our minds and attitudes in this new era for our wellbeing. Thanks for sharing knowledge madam.
Most welcome.
Where a potential victim to harm fails to appreciate the imminent danger ahead through persuasion, some element of manipulation to achieve the desired outcome can be commendable. Eg. Those young Africans taking the perilous journey across the Sahara desert and through dingy boats across the Mediterranean to Europe. Telling them that the boats are deliberately deflated in the water to kill them can be positive if it discourages them from embarking on such risky adventures.
Unfortunately ignorance has contributed in no small measure in manipulating unsuspecting victims. Religious leaders use false prophecies and fear to manipulate and fleece their members, terrorist organizations indoctrinate their recruits, politicians promise electorates the moon, some aspects of western education rob Africans of their rich cultural heritage etc. Let’s kill ignorance and we shall be liberated from manipulation.
That is so true. Thanks for your input.