Children, Choices and Absurd Results

Having Children

The decision to have children or not is inherently a personal one.

Whereas for some individuals or couples, not having children is due to medical reasons beyond their control or the passage of time, for others, it is a deliberate choice. Reasons for not having children include wishing to preserve one’s freedom and independence.  Others may decide not to have children as a result of financial constraints. Yet another reason for not having children may be to reduce carbon emissions in view of climate change.

Therefore, we note that now it is not politically correct to say ‘childless’. The correct word is ‘child-free’ as not having children may be a deliberate choice.

For those who decide to have children, whether biologically or through surrogacy, adoption or fosterage, the joys and responsibilities of parenting are unforgettable experiences.

Others who are child-free have their own stories to tell as regards the freedom this gives them.  As the saying goes, “To each their own”.

What boggles my mind however is when people have unrealistic expectations from the choices that they make. Also, when these choices lead to activities which some people may classify as absurd.

Cats as pets

I recently watched a reality show on which the presenter interviewed a married man who was away from home for a period on work duty.  The married man stated that he and his wife had decided not to have children and that they had two cats. He made a video call to his wife and after some pleasantries, he asked where the cats were.

He further asked whether the cats didn’t want to say hello. His wife gave a vague excuse for the cats after which he hung up, visibly disappointed.  He thereafter told the presenter that anytime he was away from home, he looked forward to returning home and spending time with the two cats and his wife.

This set me thinking. First of all, I know that pets may recognise the faces of their owners on a screen and may recognise their voices too. However, in the absence of the owner’s physical presence, the owner’s scent,  which is an important factor, is missing.  As such, it is debatable how effective a video call with pets is.  I wondered whether the married man wouldn’t have been happier if they had a toddler who had shouted, “Hellloooo daddy !!!”.  Was he not expecting too much affection from the cats? The cats may rush into his laps to cuddle with him in person. However, is expecting them to show in a video call that he is dearly missed not too much?

Another thing that I noticed from this incidence was the fact that he told the presenter that he looked forward to spending time with the two cats and his wife. It appeared that he seemed more interested in the cats than his wife. It was as if he had added his wife as an afterthought. I therefore wondered whether he wouldn’t have been better off with just having someone to take care of his cats in his absence. In that case, he would be able to spend as much time as possible with the cats whenever he was around, without necessarily having a wife. Or could he have married just to have a babysitter for his cats?

Puppies in prams

With reference to choices leading to absurd activities, I recently watched a news clip in which individuals and couples in Japan were pushing puppies in prams in a park. The news article explained that in the face of a declining birthrate and an ageing population, pets in Japan have seemingly taken on roles traditionally associated with children. Some people dress their dogs in neck warmers and sweaters and even put diapers on them. I had a real culture shock. In Ghana, at least in my experience, this is an extraordinary sight—and I suspect it would be equally unusual in much of Africa.

So, should we curb our expectations of affection with reference to video calls with our pets? Also, in substituting pets for children, how far should we go in order not to lead to absurd results?

Your comments are welcome.

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